A Broken Friendship

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I write words I cannot say,

I feel emotions I cannot portray,

There’s a sadness by the end of day,

A karmic price I’ve got to pay.


A better friend I could’ve been,

A few more thoughts I should’ve given,

But at life I could never win,

For I never loved myself from within.

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Something was always missing,

Something was always off. 

You weren’t always the friend that I needed,

I too wasn’t better than subpar.


It sucks that things ended this way,

They shouldn’t have gone so far.

I’m sorry that I fucked it up so bad,

Only regrets for this time apart.

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A Cursed Desire

You want it so badly, you chase it. 

You pray for it. You think about it 24×7. 

You decide on what you’d do if you got it. 

But in your head you know you won’t get it,

and you’ve already made your peace with it. 

And yet, deep down a voice inside tells you to not lose hope.


And then you get it. 

Impossible. Unfuckingbelievable. 

That did not just happen. But it did.

It takes you a few minutes, maybe hours,

to realise you actually got it. 

Maybe it was good karma showing up or you just got lucky. 

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was meant to be.


You love it. You cherish it.

You hold it as close to you as you possibly can.

It’s your possession, your desire personified. 

You don’t want to share it with the world.

But fate has something else planned for you.

It is taken from you, your prized possession.

You’re in denial. Crying. Hoping for it to come back.

But it won’t. It wasn’t meant to be.


You slowly let go. Learn to live without it.

You move on. The sun is shining again.

But you see a pretty butterfly fly by.

As beautiful as your prized possession.

You slip. You’re hurt. But you get up.

Dust yourself. Start moving on again.

Maybe this is how it was supposed to be.

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The Wish

This year for my new year wish I ask,

A little more luck and a little something from the past.

I want that girl who sat at my side when I drove,

I want the girl whose laugh made my day whole.

 

Every one of those exchanged smiles from across the room,

I want those moments back that got our friendship to bloom.

Its still just as effortless to remember those days,

Brings the widest smile to my face your peculiar ways.

 

I’m always going to be here cheering you on,

I promise to be by your side from dusk till dawn.

I’m always going to be in your corner for every fight,

Remind you of your Herculean might.

 

So here I am asking you to grant me this wish,

Turn this friendship into a uniquely assembled dish.

For I loved those fifteen days and I hope to live them again,

For you’re the one I miss each time it starts to rain.

On Joy and Sorrow By Kahlil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
     And he answered:
     Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
     And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
     And how else can it be?
     The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
     Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
     And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
     When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
     When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
    
     Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
     But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
     Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

     Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
     Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
     When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Source : https://poets.org/poem/joy-and-sorrow
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A Special Lady

I’ll tell you something you already know,

I really like you and that’s up for show.

You’re so incredible and a sight for sore eyes,

Your brain a whacky combo of wicked and wise.

We started off decently well if you ask me,

Until those unfortunate times came by.

But you kept faith in me and always stuck around,

Took me a while but a keeper in you I found.

I reflect on our times quite seldom,

Especially the dumb letter that I penned. 

You’re unlike anything my eyes perceived,

And those fences I’m trying to mend.

It’s not easy to make a list of the things I like about you,

Especially since I tried but ran out of ink.

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,

The thought of you makes my cheeks go pink.

You’re a worldly woman who doesn’t understand her might,

A person with an aura alike the sun so bright.

Your laugh is so natural that it just brightens my day,

It is what I look forward to like the weekend on a Monday.

There are so many things I want to do,

So many emotions to express. 

Hug you and kiss you and hold you tight,

And in my hoodies I want you to dress.

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The New Year

Another year is coming to a close,

It is time to forget all your troubles and woes.

For me this year was tough, full of ups and downs,

It brought many emotions, tears and many frowns.


Now another year is approaching fast,

Let’s hope it’s a New Year with love and health,

With a little failure and success that lasts,

Let’s hope we enjoy it with a blast.


May all of your dreams come true,

And you find peace and love in all that you do.

May we all hear the sound of joy,

And push away all that hurts that destroy.


The New Year I hope will be good to us all,

Caring and calming and granting  a helping hand each time we fall.

Listen more, slow down, and say I love you,

Stop for a moment; take a breath, enjoy the view.


Appreciate your people and tell them you care,

Do something exciting, like a thrill or a dare.

Enjoy all that the New Year has to give,

We have but one life, so let’s learn to live.


It’s a New Year, a brand new start,

Always remember, live and love from your heart.

Wishing each and every one a year to behold,

And may it be full of wonders for you to unfold.


Lots of love, hugs, and kisses too,

A very happy New Year from me to you.

-The Travellothoner

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Afraid

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I’m not afraid of other people doubting me,

I’m afraid of doubting myself.


I’m not afraid of other people disliking me,

I’m afraid of disliking myself.


I’m not afraid of other people calling me ugly,

I’m afraid of feeling ugly.


I’m not afraid of anyone else,

but I’m only afraid of my myself.

-By Kohmal khanna 💌

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It Is All Over

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It is all over today, 

The bond that existed my entire childhood. 

A thousand memories that meant so much to me,

All of which are down to dust.


I’ve hated you for a while but I knew you always cared,

I’m indifferent about your existence now after the things you said.

You can never take those words back and I’ll carry them with me forever,

We’ve reached a point where I don’t think this relationship will mend ever.


Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me,

For all the times that you cared.

I’m not going to be a burden anymore,

Soon I’m going to be out of your hair.


I wish I were drunk cause it was hard to hear those words while being sober,

But don’t worry, moving forward we’re totally over. 

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Inadequacy

I spend the nights staring at the ceiling

What really is this feeling

I am right there and yet not

Thinking of all the things I have achieved

And yet the feeling of self worth is far from being perceived

The list of blessings is really a lot

And yet somehow it falls short

Already burnt enough

Why is the sail still so rough

The existence covets endline

Helplessly looking for a sign

I ask myself these questions

Of the answer there is no mention

This feeling has an impression so forlorn

To misery this life has already sworn

But I am not complaining

For nothingness is a gracious guest

Like inadequacy that gives me everyday it’s best.


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You & I

In a parallel universe, I wake up next to you,

Feeling your breath on the nape of my neck;

Maybe in a parallel universe,

I don’t have to yearn for your presence.


In a parallel universe,

I don’t have to swirl my brain,

Into a labyrinth of already overthought thoughts to make that call.

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In a parallel universe, I go back in time, to the old town of Manali,

Sneak in to the terrace, listen to Elvis Presley’s , ‘Can’t help falling in love with you’ ,

While we slow dance under the blanket of stars,

Staring at your almond shaped brown eyes, your smile as bright as the sunshine,

The blush on your cheek, the moonlight shining on your forehead,

Your perfectly aligned teeth, I feel cursed with my oh-so vibrant memory!

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In a parallel universe,

I am not scared of my heart beating so wildly,

When I think about you.


In a parallel universe,

you and I don’t give up on each other.

Maybe in a parallel universe you don’t walk all over me and leave.

Maybe, just maybe in a parallel universe,

our love didn’t crumble under the weight of our egos.


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So Close And Yet So Far

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I was taking a walk down memory lane,

like I seldom do.

One of the things that struck out to me,

was my story with you.


We’ve known each other for almost a decade,

And been friends for just two.

But our paths crossed decades ago,

Around the time when ‘text messages’ were still new.


We went to the same school you and I,

Although a couple of years apart.

Little did I know that we’d be bestfriends,

When 2 years ago we took a fresh start.


Our friendship is weird,

Something I don’t fully understand.

Why does it have to function like two functions of a switch?

Seldom on and seldom off, but ever so damned!

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Grateful

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Reposting an old poem today which is really close to my heart. This poem is an ode and me showing my gratitude to some very strong female personalities in my life (friends and family), who’ve time and again supported me when I needed help, educated me when I was wrong and been there for me always. Originally published on May 20, 2019 here.


To the girl who thinks she’s not good enough,

To the girl who thinks she’s not as strong,

To the girl who thinks this hurdle she cannot get past,

To the girl who cannot stand up to point out you’re wrong.

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To you pretty ladies I’ve only got one thing to say,

You are wonderful the way you are, in your own beautiful way!

From the lady responsible for my existence today,

To the lady who held my hand when I went astray.


From the one who taught me to read and write,

To the one who loves to kiss me goodnight.

I am surrounded by y’all like a bee around a flower,

Walking around in ignorance, unaware of your power.

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Its an open untalked secret this circle of life,

From the days I needed my mother to seeking refuge in my wife.

Y’all run this world and make it a better place,

I hope one day I can repay you for every sacrifice and tear behind that face.


Until then I say “Thank You” and admire the graceful,

For your mere existence I am forever grateful.

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